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It's really quite amazing how our teachers show up in our lives just when we need them. I recently ran into just one such teacher at the local frozen yogurt shop. He was five years old and he wasn't getting what he wanted and he let everyone within 50 yards know it, screaming at the top of his little lungs, "That isn't fair mommy, that isn't fair" while glaring and pointing at me saying, "He is getting a really BIG cone." I have to admit it was a super-size cone and I could understand why he wasn't happy.
As he ranted I noticed myself becoming very agitated and it made me more than eager to get out of the yogurt shop. By the time I got to my car I realized that my need to distance myself from him was because this little boy was "pushing my buttons." I have to say that "in-sight" made me pause and laugh at myself. The awareness I had was that there have been times when I too have said the same thing—perhaps not at the yogurt store, but most certainly at times when I wasn't getting what I wanted or, worse yet, when someone else was getting what I wanted while I wasn't. What a perfect mirror this little button pushing boy was for me. .
I am reminded of what one of my early spiritual mentors would say whenever I overreacted to what he was saying: "While I may push your buttons, I didn't install them--you did." What I learned was that every person who "pushes my buttons" offers me an opportunity to heal some aspect of my own being when I am open, aware, and teachable. Only I can "uninstall" the buttons I installed.
My awareness is that when I come across an individual who I see (judge) as objectionable or, in some way agitates me, my first reaction is to want to withdraw and get away from that person posthaste. As I've continued on my spiritual journey, I've discovered that is exactly the point Chopra is making: Every person in my life who displays traits I don't like is serving as my mirror. The more a person offends me, the deeper the trigger point (trait) lies within myself. If it were not so, that person's presence would have absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. This can be a tough pill to swallow but it is also the key to mindfully bringing ourselves into alignment with a deeper sense of inner peace that comes naturally when we cease judging ourselves or others.
Once we awaken to our tendency to project our less than positive feelings about ourselves onto others, we'll see that some of our best life lessons often come to us in the form of people with whom we have a negative charge. They can be found everywhere, from the workplace, the slow (or fast) lane on the freeway, post office, television, politics, our church, and even our home. In other words, our best teachers are always close at hand and often our button pushers and, irrespective of whether they know it or not, they are offering us a gift.
Give thanks for your teachers each day and be open to what they can teach you. If they push your buttons you will discover it usually centers on a need to love more and judge less (both yourself and them). Today, be teachable and if your buttons get pushed just smile and remember who installed them.
Peace,
Dennis Merritt Jones
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